


The schedule theory

by ShinMeiko



Series: What if multiverse [2]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe, Garrett is the best kind of douche, Gen, M/M, Never ask me to develop a stupid idea because I'll do it, Schedule theory, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 19:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18697753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinMeiko/pseuds/ShinMeiko
Summary: Garrett has a weird schedule theory, and Simon has to know how it works, why he is a sunny Saturday 11 a.m., or why Bram is a stormy Wednesday night. Clearly, it's all just made up, right?Sequel to 'Chapter 10 - What if they got lost in the woods?' in my 'what if' series, because some people were intrigued about the schedule theory.





	The schedule theory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lesbianna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesbianna/gifts), [firesong79](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firesong79/gifts).



> You enjoyed the schedule theory, so I wanted to give you more of it =)  
> It's probably not as 'well-made' as other stories I've done because it feels more like a private joke than a story, but here it is. Enjoy!

It has been four months and it’s still rainbows and unicorns. Simon knows that they are still in their honeymoon phase, but he is confident it won’t fade away. The two of them have not gotten to know each other in the most usual way, but it all has meant that they really know each other now. Like, truly. They knew each other even before knowing who the other one was. There is always this understanding between them that Simon knows he won’t find with anyone else. He doesn’t even have that with his best friends.

There is also this fire slowly burning under his skin that turns into an inferno whenever Bram touches him. They became experts at finding unsupervised time at home to… do what you can do when there isn’t any parental supervision. They haven’t been all the way yet, but they have been far enough that Simon can call Bram ‘his’.

They used the L-word. At loud, not just in emails. Actually, Simon tried to tell Bram that he loves him every day, making sure that it remains meaningful and that it doesn’t become a simple interjection between them because they’ve grown used to the word.

Bram has also broadened Simon’s horizons. He shared a lot of interests with Blue, and he got interested in new things for him. In their emails, they mentioned music, films, books, school, art, superheroes, food, family… For instance, Simon isn’t very religious. He knew from the emails that Blue had a religious side. He never asked much about it. But with Bram, he is discovering two religions and two cultures.

But Bram is also sporty, something that never transpired in their emails, and Simon is going to games and practices. He also does more activities outdoors. But that’s because he made a promise to himself on orienteering day.

Bram has fit so perfectly into Simon’s life that some days, he doesn’t know how he got so lucky. And he found a place in Bram’s life easily as well. They shared friends already, but it went so well with their families as well. Even though Simon was terrified to meet Bram’s mother, she made him feel comfortable and welcomed immediately. Bram’s father seemed to happy to see Bram happy. And Simon suspects his parents to love Bram more than they love him.

It’s so very close to being perfect. But there is still one thing that Simon can’t get his head around to. And that’s Garrett’s schedule theory.

Because clearly, he’s just making stuff up.

According to Garrett, every person can be given a day, a time and a weather. And only one day, time and weather can properly fit a person. He has a list of people an schedules. He never gives reasons. Just the list. And Simon is almost sure that he is just making stuff up and pretends that there is some logic behind it.

But Bram said that there is a logic behind it. That he’s happy to be a stormy Wednesday night, and that he can definitely see how Simon is a sunny Saturday 11 a.m.

 

It’s a Saturday afternoon. Simon, Bram, and Garrett are hanging out in Bram’s room, doing homework. There is more hanging out than homework happening.

Garrett is sitting on Bram’s desk chair, his feet on the desk. Not even Simon is allowed to do that. Garrett gets special privileges. Simon isn’t upset about it. As long as he gets to be the only one allowed to kiss Bram, he can live with the rest.

Bram and Simon are on Bram’s bed, both leaning against a different wall, legs intertwined.

Bram and Garrett are talking about a group of boys they played with in the park a few days earlier.

“Wait, which one was Arthur?” Garrett asks.

“The tall one with the black jersey.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember.”

“You referred to him as being a cloudy Tuesday morning, hour unspecified.”

“Oh. That’s why I don’t remember him, then.”

Bram smiles, and Simon can’t take it anymore. He has to ask. He has to know if there actually is a theory behind the schedule theory, or if Garrett is just saying random days, hours and weathers, and if Bram is just playing along.

“Come on! That doesn’t actually mean something, does it?” he asks.

“What?”

“Using ‘a cloudy Tuesday morning’ to refer as a person. That’s not a thing.”

“Spier, it sounds like you are questioning the validity of my schedule theory,” Garrett points out.

“I guess I am. Because it makes no sense. I don’t see how Bram is a stormy Wednesday night, how I am a sunny Saturday 11 a.m., what a cloudy Tuesday morning means, or even how you would find enough combination to fit seven billion people.”

“I don’t need to fit seven billion people.”

“You don’t?”

“Well, first of, I’m not gonna meet all seven billion. So I can’t judge them all. But also, you work on the basis that all seven billion people are different. I work on the principle that we all fall into a category of people. And I’m pretty sure that I can find more combinations of times and weathers than categories of people.”

Simon must admit that Garrett might have a point there. Still. “Okay. Let’s say I accept that. How do you decide how to label someone?”

“Do you want to know the theory, or do you want to know why you’re a sunny Saturday 11 a.m.?”

“Well both, I guess.”

Bram has grown less quiet around Simon. He isn’t tongue-tied anymore. Simon hopes that he still finds him cute, but he loves seeing Bram growing more and more confident around him. He loves that soon, he will be the person that Bram is the most relaxed with, and that he will be the only person to know the real Bram Greenfeld. But right now, he is silent. He looks at his best friend and his boyfriend, and he smiles as if he couldn’t be happier than he is looking at them bonding over one of Garrett’s stupid ideas.

“You just need to match the vibes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay. Let’s picture this. It’s Monday morning. It’s raining. It’s a bit cold. It’s like half seven. You’re getting out of your house to get to school. Can you picture how it makes you feel?”

“Yes.”

“No seriously. Fully. Like… the weekend is gone, the weather tells you to go fuck off, your half asleep and you have double algebra first. Maybe even a test before lunch and you didn’t revise properly because you were sexting with Bram instead.”

Bram throws a pillow in Garrett’s face, and Garrett just takes it and uses it for back support. “Do you mind, Greenfeld? I’m educating your boyfriend.” Then he takes his attention back on Simon. “So, do you picture the feeling?”

“I told you yes the first time.”

“Alright. Now tell me that it’s not exactly how Martin Addison – post-Tumblr post – makes you feel.”

Simon can’t help but laugh. But just for a second. Because there are actually quite a lot of similarities between the two feelings.

“See. Told you. Martin Addison is a windy, rainy Monday morning, half seven a.m.”

Shit. Should there be any credit given to Garrett’s schedule theory? Simon can’t even believe that the thing has a name.

“You’re making this up,” he comments.

“Well… yes. Do you think I read that in a psychology book? Are you sure you’re smart enough for Bram?” Bram throws his second pillow. Garrett dodges and it ends up by the bookshelves. “Nonetheless, even if I make it up, you know it’s genius.”

“Okay, but… that day in the woods, you said that Thomas Torby was a rainy Sunday evening with no Internet. Why does he get an activity as well?”

“Because nothing is strong enough to express how boring and draining Torby is.”

It’s sort of mean, but even Bram laughs. Thomas is indeed the least entertaining teenager Simon has ever met. He’s nice enough, but there isn’t an ounce of fun in his body.

“Okay. But how do you make it work with people you never met? Like that time you mentioned the Queen of England.”

“Did I actually? I don’t remember.”

“Great. Let’s see if there is consistency in your theory. What’s her schedule?”

“Fine, let’s think about it. England. It’s raining over there. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or a cliché, you know your mind went there. And the Queen of England, she is England in everyone’s mind. But she is too classy to be rain. So, she is drizzle. And she can’t be a fun time. She isn’t a fun lady. She is an institution. She is… a Monday 6 a.m. Half six, maybe. Because that’s when people officially end their weekend. You put your serious hat back on, and you go back to being a productive member of society. That’s what she is. Seriousness and aspirations. I mean… I’m sure she has some time when she eats McDonald and watches trash TV, but if I spread that information, the MI-6 will have to kill me. So I stick with the dignified leader of the Commonwealth front, here.”

Simon isn’t quite sure if Garrett is a genius or completely crazy. Like most of the best people, he is probably a subtle balance of the two.

He also clearly remembers Garrett saying that the Queen of England is a drizzly Monday 6 a.m. So apparently, there is consistency in the crazy roads his train of thought takes. Who would have thought?

“And it works with everyone. Even fictional characters. Take Santa for instance. He is snowy, obviously. There is something magical about snow, and about Santa. But he is also a Sunday midnight. When the magic is over and it’s time to go back to reality.”

“There is still some magic after Santa leaves,” Simon comments.

“Oh, come on, Spier. You know that all your Christmas presents, no matter how great, don’t feel the same the day after. It can be something you’ve wanted for years, using it never feels like receiving it. It’s always almost disappointing. Santa isn’t there. The magic is gone. It’s like your friends. You know they aren’t as great on a Monday in school as they were on a Sunday at the Waffle House.”

Simon doesn’t know if Garrett just has a different way of seeing people or if he spent hours thinking about his theory and how to classify people using stuff as random as days and meteorology. It might also come from the fact that it became a private joke between him and Bram – now maybe Simon too? – and that his brain is trained to come up with this stuff.

“Your turn Spier. What’s Nick?”

“Nick? Nick is a Tuesday lunchtime, because it’s pizza day and everyone loves pizza.”

Garrett laughs out loud. “There is some work to do. It was short but sweet. I’ll take it.” He looks at his best friend. “Bram, you haven’t done one in ages.”

“Because I hate it, and it’s stupid.”

“Don’t lie to me, Greenfeld. Do one now. Someone who hasn’t a schedule yet.”

“Like who?”

“Alice,” Simon suggests. She has been very busy at college and he misses her.

Bram sighs. Like he knows that he has to get this right. He can’t just give random information and get away with it. “The last time I saw Alice, it was when I was writing my application for Columbia. You were walking Bieber with Nora, and I was in your living room, working on my laptop. I felt like it wasn’t good enough. She looked at it and she said it was good enough. She gave me the best pep talk ever. I guess that memory will forever be how I picture Alice. So, she must be a Sunny Friday afternoon. Just after school or work. When we feel tired after a week of hard work, but that just fades away because it’s done now, and in front of us is the weekend. It starts now. Yeah… she is the comfort of knowing that the week is over, and there is time to enjoy, because it’s not even Saturday, yet. She’s hope, I guess”

Simon is touched by the way Bram pictures and describes his sister. But he doesn’t linger on the idea, because it made him thought of something else. “Okay. I get it a bit better now. But how am I a sunny Saturday 11 a.m.?”

“You, Spier, you are someone who’s positive,” Garrett answers. “You are like a Saturday late morning. When you’re not tired anymore because you had a lot of rest. Ignore Bram. That’s when the weekend starts. On a Friday, your mind is still on school, not on a Saturday. Which Greenfeld doesn’t know, because his mind is always on school. Anyway. Saturday morning. Maybe you’re doing stuff, maybe you’re playing the lazy card and you’re still in bed. That’s fine. It’s your choice, it’s the weekend. It’s sunny, you have the whole weekend in front of you, you can decide to do anything. You don’t have to worry about it, because there is always Sunday night. Yeah… I’ll give you that. Freedom, happiness and choice. That’s you. Oh, and the possibility to stay in bed. Did I mention that I enjoy having a lie-in?”

“That’s quite a compliment. I didn’t realize you liked me that much.”

Garrett shrugs. “You make Bram happy.” He doesn’t develop, but that makes it even more meaningful. Simon is more touched by that sentence than by anything anyone has ever said to him. Maybe even Bram. Because it means that either Garrett noticed, or Bram shared with him.

Simon needs to end the moment before his eyes start watering. “What about an activity? Why does Thomas get an activity and I don’t?”

“Some people are _not_ interested in the activities you practice in bed, Spier.”

Bram doesn’t have any pillow left. But the other boys can see on his face that he would definitely have thrown another one.

“And what are you?” Simon asks Garrett.

“I can’t tell you that. Abraham disagrees with me, and we can’t share that information until there is a consensus. But I think we can already all agree that I’m a weekend day.”

‘No he’s not,’ Bram mouthes silently to Simon, who giggles.

“Shut up, Greenfeld. You’re not a weekend day either.”

“Oh, yeah. Why is Bram a Wednesday night? And his weather… So far, you’ve given rain to boring people and sun to people you like. Bram should be a warm sunny Saturday afternoon, shouldn’t he?”

“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Garrett replies, and Simon restrains from telling him that it’s coming from the guy who invented a pile of nonsense rules that he then called ‘the schedule theory’.

“Okay, think a minute. It’s Wednesday night. It’s the plainest day of the week. You don’t really remember last weekend. You don’t really see the end of the week either. You are in your bedroom, maybe prepping your bag for the next day of school. It’s just routine. There is nothing special about a Wednesday night. If Wednesday night was a person, it would blend in with the crowd and you would hardly notice it.”

Simon looks at Bram. “Are you sure you two are friends? Because I would be super offended.” But Bram is just smiling softly, and reports his attention to a book he grabs from his nightstand. Simon knows he is listening, though.

“Bear with me. Wednesday night. Nothing to expect. But then comes a storm. Any storm. It can be the one that finally brings fresh air after a heatwave. It can be the one that displays the most magnificent flashes of lightning. It can be the ones that rumbles low enough that you feel it more than you hear it. It can be the devastating kind that makes it to the news. It doesn’t matter. Suddenly, you are paying attention to that Wednesday night, and there is something worth it and magical about that specific Wednesday night. It’s not like the other Wednesday nights you had before. It’s your favorite Wednesday night. It’s maybe even your favorite moment of the entire week. Because the storm shifted your expectations of the moment. Then the storm draws away a little bit, or calms down, and it’s more rain than thunder. You go to bed, you’re warm, relaxed, and you fall asleep lulled by the sound of the raindrops on the window.”

Then Garrett goes silent and Simon stays a moment with the image carried by the metaphor.

“Don’t you think that’s Bram?” Garrett asks.

And Simon nods. Because now, he wouldn’t give Bram any other time. He isn’t a weekend day. He isn’t sunny. He isn’t snow. He isn’t morning. He isn’t midnight. He is a stormy Wednesday night. A moment that is so easy to miss, but then you notice it, for any given reason, and it becomes your favorite. Also, that’s Bram. Calm and quiet like a mid-week evening, but passionate and overwhelming like a storm.

Simon never gave more credit to Garrett’s schedule theory more than now. He never liked it more than now.

He has a new favorite day – and it’s a _school day_.

He also knows that it doesn’t matter if they are together, apart or even broken up. Whenever a storm breaks out on a Wednesday night, he will always, always think about Bram. Forever.


End file.
